Intervention
by Ellislash
Summary: Coach has to defuse a tense situation by doing what he does best. Coach POV, NxE, a little coarse language. I don't own Valve's characters.


High school can be rough. I know it better'n most. Not that I ever had kids of my own, but a lotta my players use'ta ask me for advice, like a father. I've heard it all. Bad grades, trouble at home, bullying, you name it. An' especially girls. A team fulla boys, ages fourteen to nineteen, has a whole lotta angst in it. They've asked me how'ta get a date, how'ta make a move, how 'ta deal with rejection or a breakup. My kids looked up t'me then, and I ain't real surprised that Ellis looks up t'me now. What _is_ surprisin' is what he wants t'talk t'me about.

He's nervous. That's a warnin' flag 'cause most'a the time he's got two attitudes: determined, or... well, _Ellis_. When any _sane_ man oughta be nervous, that white boy is carefree like you never saw. But right now, locked up tight in some old bunker, he's even edgier than Nick.

"Boy, calm yo' ass down. We're safe here."

"Sorry, Coach."

He stops pacin' around like a caged animal an' plunks himself down in a corner.

"You feelin' right, honey?"

"Yeah, Ro, I'm fine."

Nick ain't sayin' anythin'. Just polishin' his weapons. Not sure if it's a blessin' that them two ain't at each other's throats anymore, 'cuz them refusin' t'speak t'each other is just as nerve-wrackin' fo' me. An' there's only so many times a man can sharpen an axe 'fore it starts lookin' real murderous. Ro gets it. She looks at me and she's worried. I talk in her ear.

"Baby girl, this ain't right. Can you handle the jackass?"

"Ugh. Only because if somebody doesn't talk to him he might go all _American Psycho_ on us."

She goes over t'him an' I sit down next to Ellis. I don't like how he's fidgetin' with his pistol.

"Better put that down or it won't be zombies that kills us."

"Sorry, Coach."

"That's all you been sayin' t'day. '_Sorry, Coach_.' What's on yo' mind?"

"Nuthin'."

"Boy, it ain't nuthin'. We gotta focus on survival out here, an' y'can't be like this when them monsters're comin' at us. Talk t'me."

Nuthin'. He's all clammed up. All right, I can do this. Just gotta be firm.

"We're a team, an' if we don't stick together we all lose. Tell me. What's goin' down wit'chu and Nick?"

He looks at me just like my kids used to. Same face, same eyes, all of it. He doesn't say anythin', but I know.

"_Oh_."

So that's it. He's got... a crush? On _Nick_? There's so many things wrong wit' that, I can't even start. We're in one serious mess, fo' sho', and it'll make a man think some strange things, but... _Sheee_-it. I wish it was Rochelle talkin' to him, not me. I was raised by the Book, an' if what I think is happenin'... Lordy, it gives me an uncomfortableness. But I gotta stick by my own word an' do what I can to help him through. So I laugh.

"My God, son. Middle of the zombie apocalypse, an' you got a heartache? Ellis, you are too much."

He looks at me like he's gonna cry, but finally says somethin'.

"It's stupid, ain't it. Ain't right. If Kieth could see me actin' all dumb like this he'd be whackin' me with a wrench, sure 'nuff."

"It's been hard on _all_ of us. You ain't stupid, you just got a diff'rent way of bein' stressed out."

"Really, Coach? You ain't jes' thinkin' how gross an' sinful havin'... uh... Jeez. Havin' a _crush_ on another dude is? 'Cuz it's creepin' _me_ out, an' yer the one quotin' scripture often as not."

"Don't matter what I'm thinkin'. I can handle myself. _Yo_' ass is gonna end up hunter food if you can't gitchore head outta this, one way or the other."

He's starin' across the room now. The tunnel's long enough that we can't hear what they're sayin' at the other end, but we can see 'em. Nick's got his back to us. Ro's listenin', way too patiently. I can tell she wants t'scream.

"One way or the other... Lissen, I ain't too happy with m'self 'bout this. Dunno how I got here... I jes' thought he was cool, at first, an' he's gotta have some awesome stories, like, 'bout Vegas and stuff? An' it's no good tryin' ta keep me from askin' 'cause that jes' makes me wanna know more..."

"Secrets are the most int'restin' thing in the world."

"Yeah. Guess I got a lil' _too_ interested. Dunno what I'm thinkin' anymore. Jes' want 'im ta quit treatin' me like dirt, really."

He's got his arms 'round his knees, lookin' out from under his hat.

"It's more'n that, son, but let's start wit' it. Unless you two've been stayin' up late talkin' when I can't hear, you ain't said word _one_ t'Nick about this. Not seriously. Can't have a serious discussion out there fightin' zombies."

"He ain't exactly th' heart-ta-heart type anyhow."

"Well he better change real quick, if we're all gonna stick t'gether. This here's an intervention. So. Yo' gonna talk t'Nick. What'chu gonna say?"

"I dunno."

"Course you do. You just don't wanna admit it."

Now he's glarin' at me, but he's red in th' face and it ain't 'cause he's angry.

"What'm I s'posed ta do, Coach? Jus' walk up an' say 'Oh hey Nick, can ya treat me like a human bein' fer once, an' also ya mean more t'me than my own life?' Yeah, that'll work real good."

"Ellis, you been a kid once. Hell, you still act like it! D'you remember how _you_ were back then, if you liked someone? You'd treat that girl awful. You'd tease her an' push her around 'cause you didn't know how else t'get her attention. Am I right?"

He's lookin' more and more like he's startin' t'get it. He nods.

"Well, Nick's never got over that. He ain't used to havin' feelin's at all, is my guess, an' you scare him. Now if I'm right, we gotta get him to talk. An' I think I got an idea."

I stand up, leavin' Ellis starin' at me like I'm a ghost or some shit. Ro sees me an' we meet in the middle.

"Poor Ellis. He's lovesick, all right, but won't admit how much. I told him they need to talk."

"Coach, that man is impossible. I did my best, but he won't listen to me. He's terrified – that's obvious, or he wouldn't be so defensive... But I can't figure out what he's so terrified _of_."

"Baby girl, he's got the bug too. Those boys gotta get over each other. An' I think I know how'ta force 'em into tryin'."

I raise my voice. "All right, you two, gitchore asses over here _now_."

Ellis moves. Nick doesn't.

"Nick, I swear t'_God_, I will pick yo' scrawny ass up an' lock you outside if you don't c'mere this _minute._"

He waits for two more seconds 'fore gettin' up. He's still sulkin' like an angsty teenager.

"What."

"Don't gimme that look. I know what's up and I don't care 'bout yo' manly pride, Nick, so get. Over. It."

I move to the other room, the one we ain't been in 'cuz it's got no light, an' Ro follows. The boys can't go anywhere, 'less they wanna chance it outside.

"Now lissen up. Ro an' me, we gonna wait over here. We ain't gonna listen, but if y'all ain't huggin' it out when we come back, I'mma tie Nick up an' leave him behind in the mornin'. Actin' like brats is gonna get us all killed, y'hear me?"

"Like hell."

"Shut'chore mouth, white boy. Think I won't do it? You been nothin' but a pain in my ass since the goddamn start. I dunno who in the hell you think you were Before, and I don't rightly care, but it's _past_ time you found someone else t'be. Now I know you don't wanna get left for zombie bait, and Ellis, I know you don't want him t'_get_ left. There, y'all got somethin' in common. Now _get to it_!"

I ain't kiddin', neither. I'd string that sonofabitch up fo' the smokers t'play with an' not think too hard 'bout it later. But Ellis deserves a shot at changin' his mind, so I jus' turn right around an' give 'em their privacy. Ro follows me – bless her soul, she trusts me. More'n I trust my own self, at this point. I'm kinda expectin' t'hear gunshots.

"I hope this works, Coach."

She fidgets with her gun 'til the flashlight comes on. I just find a corner t'lie down in, an' shut my eyes.

"So do I, little sister. So do I."


End file.
